My Vanilla Twilight

Dear You,

Is it really neccessary to ask you ‘How are you’? Because I’m sure, you’re happy now. Really really happy.

Now it’s your turn to ask me ‘How are you?’, hahaha…

My imagination could create your voice greatly and so much looks alike. Then i could see you standing there, with your white t-shirt, white veil, long socks, black shoes, and that belt which has scout logo. I also see you and your bright smile. The smile which never fail to infect me.

“How are you?”, you said.

Suddenly, my eyes becomes wet, and it feels so hard to take a breath. I never know i could miss someone this bad. Someone who took my heart then ran to a place i could never reach.

“I’m okay… uhm, i mean I’m not okay. Universe once again hit me right in the face and ruins everything. But, still, I’m okay. Me is doesn’t matter,” I mumbled, still couldn’t see you right in the eye.

Then, like a great flood, my words flow with no control.

“It’s sad.”

“I couldn’t write any longer.”

“I just want to cry.”

“Why do you have to go? I don’t understand.”

“Are you never love me enough to keep stay here? Right beside me?”

“Even after your gone, I only had one dream with you.”

“Are you mad?”


“You’re up there. You shoulda know.”

“I love you.”

“That morning, I didn’t see you for the last time. Why? Because I just want to remember you as you are.”

“I know that was very childish.”

“I am really sorry.”

“May you come here? To accompany me? Please?”

“I really need you.”

“I wish you were here.”

“I wish you were here.”

“I wish you were here and never have to leave me again.”

“I wish you were here.”

“I wish you were here.”

“I cry like a baby, haha…”

“I miss you.”

“I really miss you.”

“Please, come to my dream tonight, sweetie.”

“I’m promise, I will survive this somber.”

“I will survive everything.”

“Take care there.”


I wish you could hear this.

Even tho’ I don’t know whether wordpress does exist or not up there.

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly

But I’ll miss your arms around me

I’d send a postcard to you, dear

‘Cause I wish you were here

I’ll watch the night turn light-blue

But it’s not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn’t so bad,

‘Til I look and my hand and feel sad

‘Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I’ll find repose in new ways

Though I haven’t slept in two days

Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I’ll sit on the porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When i think of you I don’t feel so alone

I don’t feel so alone, I don’t feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I’ll think of you tonight

I’ll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I’ll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won’t forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach back to the past

I’d whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here.


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